A different kind of thankfulness

I know I'm not the only one who is finding it difficult to feel thankful this year. I know. But I feel like getting this out in the open might help me to find my own grit to be thankful.

I've been unemployed/underemployed for nine months now. February seems like a long time ago because 2014 is just around the bend. Fighting to get a job is feeling more hopeless all the time and the four part-time jobs I have aren't enough to pay my bills... I'm broke.

But I'm not broken.

I may not have money for all my bills, but I have enough for some of them. So I pay them.

I may not have money for Christmas gifts, but I can still pay my internet bill and phone bill so I can email and call my friends and family to let them know I'm missing them or sending them holiday joy.

I may not have the kinds of food I'd like to have around this time of year, but I do have some food. (I never thought I'd revert to bagged salad and ramen noodles like college, but I also never knew I would be this hard up for money.)

I may be struggling to believe in myself because I can't find a professional job to pay me a salary I can actually live on, but I still have the most marvelous man as my boyfriend who tells me that I'm worth it, helps me find hope, and lets me cry to him when I'm hurting.

I may not be able to make any future plans, based on time or money, but I know that I am fortunate each morning when I put both feet on the floor and take a big breath to lift myself from bed. I have learned to plan on just waking up and being alive.

I may feel hopeless (nearly all the time, these days), but I have a few really good friends who, despite whatever distance between us, have the power to lift me up.

I may not have health insurance, but I have found a way to get my prescriptions at a reasonable cost so I may remain well and, especially important, free of asthma attacks and healthy enough to run and keep running.

I may cry too easily right now. I do. But I have the cutest, sweetest dog who has a truly intelligent sense of empathy who has finally learned to cuddle to make mommy feel better.

I may not have friends close by all the time, but I work hard to be able to afford the luxury of keeping my dog, who is there for me day and night.

I may not see what is in front of me in my path for life, but I am working hard to trust in God and to remember that I can't always see his plan but that there is a plan... and I try to remember that I am an instrument of God when I can help other people.

I'm thankful that I am not broken. I'm not sure how much longer I can sustain myself in this state (this sad, sad state), but I am thankful that I find strength in everything I listed here. I find strength to push on and do what I can, whatever it is, to keep going minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day.

I hope you have a happy Thanksgiving, dear readers.

A Shiny New PR: Staten Island Half Marathon

Apologies for the late post. Yes, I did run the Staten Island Half Marathon about a week ago (10/13/13). I just haven't had it in me to post a blog. Traveling took a lot out of me and I guess I needed to lay low for a while.

Nevertheless, the half marathon was really great. I ran much faster than my first half! The hills were long and tedious and I thought that the turnaround would be a lot sooner once I started seeing folks from the front of the pack lining the road on the other side... But, alas, I was a back pack gal this race. No shame, though. I still got a shiny new personal record (PR).

Original time: 2:58:22
NEW PR: 2:45:08

I'm delighted to report that I crushed my old PR by a whole 13 minutes!

Being there with my friends was awesome and I also got to meet another Oiselle Volée teammate!

Here's a pic of me and Gabrielle. We're sporting the really sweet hardware from a half marathon well done. :) She's a fast birdie. :)

Sadly I didn't get any other photos. This is what happens when your smartphone is become less intelligent as it ages. Meh. (At least it makes phone calls... most of the time. Le sigh. I'm tired of being broke!)

My stay in New York was truly wonderful thanks to some friends and their sofa! I ate well, ran well, and soaked up every minute of the weekend.

Here is my best photo during the race. I'm told (by my BFF, as a matter of fact) that I shouldn't look that good after 13.1 miles. Hehe. Guess I was a happy finisher! This was the 0.1 part of the race!

Running maintains my sanity

It does. Running helps me maintain my sanity. Even though I don't do it as much as I should (according to my training program).

And what am I training for?

I'm glad you asked. :)

Sunday, October 13th I am running my second half marathon! It's exciting for me because one of my closest friends recently caught the running bug and this will be the first time we run together because she's not local.

I feel MUCH more prepared for this race than I did for my first half marathon. I think that feeling is accurate because of two main differences: 1) My asthma is under control. 2) I have a stronger base.

Am I worried? A little. Sometimes that left achilles pipes up and I wish it wouldn't. Also, there's potential that the humidity will be higher than here at home. The race is on Staten Island, so I'm not sure what to expect.

So because I'm actually crazy, Saturday the following week (October 19) I'm running a brand new 5k. Then the first weekend the following month (November 3) I'm running Pittsburgh's first 10 miler. And the following week? My first marathon (November 10).

I'm nervous about the marathon because I haven't run that far yet, but I know from the half marathon I have a decent base. Besides, if I want to stop running after just the half I can. That's nice to know, but right now I'm planning like I'm going to run the full.

And this craziness maintains my sanity amid loneliness, joblessness, moneylessness, insurancelessness, and (sometimes) hopelessness.

Today's Run Oozes Awesomeness (for real)

I'm fairly certain that I just had the best run ever.

Ever.

And it's a taper for next Sunday's half marathon. And it was partially in the rain and almost in the dark.

Simple awesomeness just oozes from this experience. Here's why...

Blurry with excitement about the new trail

My running buddy Eleanor is back from a stress fracture in her foot and a busted hand (different injuries on different days from doing different things) and I couldn't be happier that she is healed and ready to run.

Plus...

Today marked the grand opening of a new trail in my county. I didn't know about this, but E did. She's got a pulse on stuff like that (for which I am grateful!).

AND... Part of the reason it was such a great run is that I fueled right for today. I need to remember today as a case study for how WELL I can do. (Obviously I have plenty of examples of what not to do. Finally a good one to recall!)

So here's the math:

   excellent running partner return
+ wicked awesome new trail
+ eating right today
-  technology of any kind
= --------------------------------------
truly magnificent eight mile taper run

We also saw pigs. Real little (and big) oinkers!

Someone's little piggies enjoying the freshly made mud

I haven't had a run that felt THIS good in months. Specifically, I haven't had a run this good since before I lost my job. I got the Warner Bros. Roadrunner legs feeling. I was breathing well despite the humidity. I felt solid for all eight miles.

Conquering Asthma: breathing through my nose

I'm excited to share that I'm making significant progress on my asthma problem.

How do I know? Did I go to the doctor? (No, I don't even have insurance right now, so that's out of the question.) How do I know I'm getting better?

I ran my entire 12 mile long run on Sunday while breathing through my nose. That's right--no open mouth breathing, no gasping, no out-of-breath feelings. I ran 12 miles straight and didn't lose my breath. Not even going up (several) hills.

This is HUGE! I've been trying to breathe through my nose more as I run to help filter the air I take in (something useful when pollen and allergens are nature's confetti), but this was the first real run I did with NO mouth breathing.

I'm delighted.

I still take my rescue inhaler with me (better safe than sorry), and I still take my asthma medications every day (though getting them at a reasonable cost soon may be difficult if I don't find a way to get health insurance). But I feel so FREE when I don't need to THINK about breathing. Free! Free, at last!

This is a milestone for me. My body is strong enough to run the distance and my lungs can now keep up. I feel incredible.

One Thing at a Time

I am taking one thing at a time.

This is how I've been trying to live each day--one thing at a time, one minute at a time. If those minutes add up into hours, then it's one hour at a time. Hours to days, days to weeks. Weeks to months, unfortunately, is what this has turned into. Months of feeling lost.

I'm burned out from my personal life. I lost my health insurance, I don't have enough money to pay my bills, and I'm not eating enough to still run well. (Part of that is appetite and part of that is financial.)

I can run, but I tire so quickly. 3.1 is about all I can handle without feeling absolutely exhausted. Yet it never feels like enough. I can't even focus on my fall races right now. They're too far away (both time- and space-wise). I'm not sure how I'll get there and, if I get there, how well I'll run because my training plan is threadbare at this rate.

I'm trying.

I'm trying to focus more on professional endeavors, specifically teaching, because that is what brings me joy and, on days when I can't find that joy, it brings me momentary fulfillment. It distracts me from the problems in my personal life that I can't really do anything about.

I'm doing everything I can. Literally, I'm doing every single possible thing to help myself. And it's not enough to change things. So when all that's left is to worry, I need to shut off that valve so I don't pour more energy into that rabbit hole.

I'm really tired. Tired of applying for jobs I never hear back about. Tired of trying to turn unemployment compensation into a life. Tired of feeling like this situation won't improve.

I'm living check to check. I'm living sleep to sleep. I'm living blink to blink. One. Thing. At. A. Time. The poetry of mindfulness is lost on me some days because "being in the moment" requires more energy than I think I have left from worrying.

It's depressing.

Moments of "look how far you've come" are overshadowed by weeks of worry chalked up to bills I can't pay and jobs I don't have. I'm working harder than I've ever worked for anything and I've got nothing to show for it. Looking to see how far I've come isn't a fair comparison anymore. I feel no farther along because I want change--big changes, like not having to worry about finances, being able to get my medication, and being excited about life.

I'm plodding along.

One thing at a time. Everything "extra" has been shorn from my budget and, somehow too, my life. But I'm persevering. I'm keeping on.

Adventures in Nutrition: Arbonne Fit Kit Detox (review)

June 1st through 30th I removed all gluten and dairy from my diet and followed the Arbonne Detox Fit Kit.

Now let's get this straight--this was not easy, especially when much of your diet is wheat- or dairy-based. I think I chose a good time of year to do this experiment. Fruits and vegetables abound, making my food prep fairly easy and straightforward.

Now the specific Arbonne products...

The whole Fit Kit: chocolate protein powder, vanilla protein
powder, two boxes of herbal detox tea, citrus fizz sticks,
pomegranate fizz sticks, lemon fit chews, caramel fit chews,
and daily fiber boost. 

Protein mix - I used coconut milk and a banana in every shake I made. Initially I struggled with grittiness, but once I began using bananas I found the thickened consistency to be pleasant. (I wasn't doing the detox to lose weight, so the banana fit my plan. Others who were trying to lose weight most likely didn't use bananas since they're considered extra sugar, etc.) I noticed that mixing frozen fruit changed the flavor more effectively than fresh fruit (with the exception of the banana). I was most pleased by the way my GI tract handled the protein. I've gone through several brands trying to find something that didn't bother the "I" part of GI, if you know what I mean. My only real complaint was that the zipper closures on the bags weren't that great, so I ended up using a clip on the bag to make sure everything stayed fresh. Both chocolate and vanilla flavors were satisfying, but I enjoyed mixing things up with the vanilla mix most. Coconut milk, pineapple, banana, and orange juice were amazing mixed with the vanilla shake.

Energy fizz sticks - Delicious. I was originally nervous about using these since they were supposed to be replacements for coffee and other caffeinated beverages because I don't do well with caffeine anymore. (Before my tumor I was fine... Now that I've only got one adrenal gland and no tumor making extra adrenaline, if I have a cup of coffee I usually end up feeling really loopy.) But I didn't feel jacked by the energy aspect of these drink mixes. The flavors were nice--citrus and pomegranate--and I was pleased that I could have even two of these in a day and not feel crazy. My only complaint is the little perforated area to tear open the packets was usually insufficient for opening it. I often had to use scissors to open it, which makes it slightly less convenient for on-the-go drink portability.

Herbal detox tea - This is amazing as sun tea. Herbal iced tea is one of my favorite things to drink in the summertime, but making sun tea with this particular tea was really enjoyable. I used five tea bags per quart and no added sweetener.

Fit chews - I had to keep these in the refrigerator after a bad experience with the wax paper not peeling off of the chew. The consistency is like salt water taffy. The lemon is my favorite flavor. Caramel was okay, but not as satisfying as the lemon was, as a replacement "candy" treat.

Fiber boost - I think this did its job--it helped me stay full between my breakfast shake and lunchtime. No flavor here, so it's an invisible extra in the blender.

All in all, I recommend the Fit Kit if you're looking to do some detective work around your diet. I was majorly uncomfortable after eating any gluten once I finished the 30 days, so I've learned that I'm sensitive to gluten. This has been really helpful information for me when shopping and planning. I still enjoy bread, beer, pasta, and pastries... just not all at once or all the time. I'm selective about what gluten to include in my diet now. It has to be quality if I'm going to eat it. (I'm not sitting around eating plain white bread!)

I learned a lot about what I *can* eat too. I've not gone the route of finding all my gluten-ridden favorites in a gluten-free form. I admit I'm concerned that I could end up swapping one unhealthy thing for another if I'm taking sugary or fattening versions of GF food. I really stuck to a meat, fruit, vegetables, and brown rice diet pretty well. (Again, doing this in the summer made the difference for my palate and patience since veggies and fruits were plentiful.) I can't say that I tried any new recipes or food preparations. It felt too complicated to try to overhaul my diet and my way of cooking in just one month. One thing at a time... :)

So before and after is a big deal with this Fit Kit, but mostly for folks who were trying to lose weight. Since I didn't get to workout for about two weeks in June, I know I didn't do anything truly spectacular for my physical shape. (I kept my same weight, within a few tenths of a pound, and my measurements didn't change either.) Lots of people kick up their fitness routine to get the maximum benefits from this kit, but I actually toned my routine down (by force, not choice) and ended up noticing how the nutritional changes affected my appetite. I wasn't hungry. I felt fuller longer and my GI--both G and I!--felt better and I'm okay attributing that to not eating handfuls of gluten every day. Dairy (fortunately) is not a problem for me, so I've integrated that back into my diet slowly (so as not to shock the system).

Good tidings of great gluten free Fit Kit

I'm interested in finding more information about digestive enzymes to help me process gluten better. I'm also interested in just keeping a low profile on the gluten-filled foods I like. I know I can live without them and I know how they will affect my insides. I pray I never get to the point that I have Celiac's disease or some other affliction that forces me to act on my diet again. I also have a new respect for my friends and acquaintances who eat gluten free regularly, either by choice or force, because I now know the pervasive grip that gluten has in our society's generalized diet. It's tough to be 100% gluten free because that little protein gluten is in so many things that we don't even realize it sometimes.

Would I recommend the Fit Kit? Sure. For people who are looking for a way to jumpstart their foray into dairy- or gluten-free life, this is a good way to get used to new things in your diet. It's simple too because there is no restrictive calorie counting or other numeric calculations (outside of your weight and measurements, if you choose to track them). Having the Facebook group to go to with questions and successes was a nice addition. (The Facebook group helped me solve the gritty smoothie problem in a matter of minutes, when I could have spent hours trying different combinations.) If you're looking to investigate your GI health in a safe way (no crash dieting), I think this is a good program with lots of information and support. The Arbonne consultants stick with you and have answers to questions, which makes the system really work. (Kudos to Becki from Fighting for Wellness!)

I'm on Team Ignite! (plus coupon code)

I'm delighted to report that I'm now part of Team Ignite, with Ignite Naturals!

As an ambassador for Ignite, I'd love to share my initial review of the electrolyte beverage mix. I love the dragon fruit!

Want to try it? Use my coupon code for 10% off! (IN0720)

I'm looking forward to being part of the team and learning more about the all-natural approach Ignite takes with its products. Real ingredients for real health!

And... we're back

My apologies for not being in touch lately. Life's craziness got in the way, but now I'm back in action.

Here's what I've got planned for the next few weeks:

• Energy Bits review 
• Arbonne Fit Kit review
• Vapur antibottle review 
• Injinji yoga toe socks review
• Conscious Box review
• Oiselle apparel review
• Gardening updates
• Running progress alert

I'm working on getting some giveaways too, so stay tuned. :)

Garden Update: Tomato Flowers and Popeye's Spinach

I have lots more now, but here's the first!

Everything in my garden I have grown from seeds. I'm really proud of my plants. They're strong and they are just about as big as plants I've seen that other people have purchased, so I feel good about their age and maturity too.

Late last week, in between rainstorms, I was pruning tomatoes when I saw some fully opened tomato flowers!

After a few more days of rain, I decided it was time to pick some spinach. My plants took awhile longer to mature, but I think I let the biggest leaves get a little too big... they were as big as my palm!

Nevertheless, the spinach would've made Popeye proud and it was the first yield from my garden this year. I happily made a salad with it and enjoyed each scrumptious bite.

Note varying sizes in spinach leaves. :-o

Watching Geese Form a V

I peeked out the window when I fed my dog a few minutes ago and saw this:

The encroachment.

This year's gaggle of geese are bolder than before (at least at this time of year...). They've been creeping up into my yard closer to the house, despite my dog leaving her "scent" wherever she pleases.

I decided to go out on the porch to take some pictures. Instead, I got to watch these geese communicate in a way I never noticed before!

Shortly after I stepped out onto the porch (which is about ten feet above level ground), the geese began moving back towards the pond. They didn't like me standing on the porch. I think they associate my presence with my dog... barking at them.

Bird body language? I think so.

I noticed a few geese lifting their heads up at a severe angle--really nodding upwards--at all the other geese. I guessed that they were leaders and that they were saying something to the others.

This next photo is from a different day, but it's a better shot of what I saw the leader geese doing with their heads. Look at the fella on the left.

The goose on the far left is *clearly* calling the shots.

So the geese congregated, as geese are wont to do, and they hurried down towards the pond with their friends and family.

Grouping together near the other geese (and ducks).

I thought that was it. They'd be down by the pond for the night with all the other waterfowls and that was okay by me. But then something else happened...

Whoa! Suddenly all white bellies!

They did a complete about-face and were facing me. I was a little freaked out because I knew that my presence had sent them packing for the evening. Were they going to hiss at me? Fly at me? (Or was I really going too far by inserting myself into the equation?)

The Army couldn't have put together a better battalion.

As quickly as they had turned around they were forming a V. I knew that meant flying, and I was instantly impressed. I had just witnessed bird communication at its finest. These geese had first retreated and then decided to form up to fly! I don't know if you've ever seen geese run, but they can really move it. They weren't running in this case, but you could tell who the slow ones were.

Eat your heart out, Mighty Ducks.

Before I could snap another picture of them shaping up, they were airborne. I was kicking myself for leaving my camera zoomed in. (D'oh.) But you can see that they are in shape and ready to fly in that oh-so-familiar migratory V we see in the sky. Something like this:

Migrating? Probably not. But evolution persists.

Later this year I know I'll be able to count on the Goose Family Reunion, as I have in several past years. My yard usually looks like this:

At last count, there were a bajillion geese at the Goose
Family Reunion. And one white duck.

My Oomph is Waning

I'm staying busy. I'm still (yes, still) looking for a job, but I can feel my enthusiasm waning. Why is my "oomph" now more like "uh"?

Sometimes it's really hard to wake up and do the same damn thing you did yesterday--work part time and search for a job--ad infinitum. I have no specified termination point for this blip of unemployment (and its accouterment of melancholy uncertainty) and, therefore, it's frustratingly difficult, nigh impossible, to plan... ANYTHING.

Vacation? Ha, definitely not happening. Unless I have a willing, unbeknownst-to-me benefactor to pay for said vacation. (If you are said benefactor, feel free to get in touch with me about this vacation we need to plan.)

Moving? Better get a job first. Or get said job to pay for relocation. There is no room in the budget for a security deposit.

Buying anything valuable? Nope. If I can't pay for it with what I've got, I can't afford it. (This includes a better functioning cell phone and tires.)

There are a host of other things I can't plan or count on, mostly because I have to wake up, work part time, and search for a job every. single. day. Until I get a job, at which point Life can resume and I will once again feel whole and like a contributing person of The World.

So for days like today when I feel like sobbing for... all of the above, I try to put myself back together with this:

via BuzzFeed

Grammarissa in Glamour Magazine

You read that right. I'm in the June issue of Glamour!

My feedback is, anyway. :-D If you haven't read this article, find page 168 in the April 2013 issue. It's worth a read. (The article is not available online.)

The Vessels of Our Lives

My collection of drink vessels. (That
handsome fella in the back is Jasper.)

This weekend it became apparent to me that I've got a nice little routine with the water bottles I use. There's the red one with the sport top for the gym and the metal one with the straw sipper I take to my part-time gig. But I also have a few other drink vessels that have recently become prevalent in the mix because I'm working my way through the Arbonne Fit Kit. I have my glass water cylinder with the tight-sealing top that I take in the car to drink my fizzy sticks this morning. And, my favorite, I have my blender cup that I use at least twice daily now to mix up protein shakes.

I'm washing these bottles by hand basically every single day. Tonight I was thinking about how much water I've filtered for myself to drink and how many plastic bottles I *haven't* used by instead using these bottles. I've easily saved a dozen bottles a week (if I used one to two new bottles each day).

If you've heard it once, you've heard it a million times: plastic bottle waste makes for icky statistics. The "reduce, reuse, recycle" mantra begins with reducing the things we have... so it's better to fill your own bottle than take that new one from the vending machine. But sometimes the convenience is unavoidable. So the next time you get a bottle of water, try reusing it several times before recycling it--make that bottle live its life! Or upcycle it to make the bottle live a different life. The environment will thank you. So do I. Right here: thank you.

Besides, if you're into DIY projects like I am, it's actually pretty inspiring to see what people are doing with reusable and upcyclable materials these days!

The Soul-Crushing Job Application Experience

I've been unemployed for three months now. I've come to terms with it. While it's neither fun nor easy, I'm making it through each day... one day at a time. If too many days come at me all at once, I tell them to get in line. That usually does the trick. Usually.

Applying for jobs and waiting for responses is really tough work. When you apply, you have to make your application the best you can and you have to write the cover letter as though this job is your one true love. But you have to do that for ALL the jobs you apply for...

The first job you apply for in a day is okay, but with each subsequent application it's like you're cheating on that first job, then the other, then all the others... until at the end of the day you have told every single job that you love it and every potential employer that you only want that job. None of it is true. It can't be.

"I'll bet you say that to all the nice looking jobs out there," the hot-shot job advertisement said to me.

My smile quickly faded into a trembling frown. My face went red. I knew all along that I had lied to myself, but his flirtation showed me the startling possibility that I had lied to everyone else. I pushed the keyboard away from me and sought solace in my Twitter feed. No more job applications today.

Enough. This soul-crushing work of job applications is really for the birds. I'm taking a different approach with the adage of "It's not what you know but who you know" to a different level. I've assessed my personal network, my talents and the "what" I know, and set out with a guide to help connect me with the "who."

I began seeing a career counselor (my guide, as referenced above) to help me make the lemonade from the lemons ruthlessly hurled at me. So far so good. Personality tests and identity development aside, the discussions we've had about my skills and the things I enjoy doing actually have me excited about what kind of work I might be able to do. The guy I'm seeing takes a different approach to placement, which I like very much. I'm still applying for jobs (feeling like a sellout, as described above), but I'm putting more effort into the exercises he gives me so I can develop more of that side of myself. I want to make genuine connections with people, to help people, to feel like I'm making a difference in the work I'm doing. I have hope that I will find more fulfilling work. I do. It's tough to keep that hope in my mind's eye sometimes, but I just try to remember that I'm getting to know myself better than most people and I'm solving problems most people don't even know they have. That feels good because I want to know that this work, this hiccup off the so-called "beaten path" is worthwhile.

I still have a list of concerns. I still get tingles of panic about bills and car repairs and things I need and so forth, but I absorb that, acknowledge it, and plan my response. I feel much better about life when I do that because I'm not stuck in React Mode where all I'm doing is reacting, reacting, reacting to things around me. (It's one way to do things, but it's exhausting and leaves little room for much else.) Taking time to plan my reactions and consider repercussions feels more validating. It also makes me feel way more competent as a human being even when tough stuff is bringing me down. I'm getting better at processing the uncertainty thrown in my path months ago.

So I'm dreaming a little, trying to find a job that I'll be good at *and* enjoy. A novel idea, eh? I thought so too until I realized that some people do have it both ways.

Trixie's Adoption Anniversary: Six Years

It was six years ago today that I adopted my pup Trixie.  It's been FAR from an easy journey with her for a number of reasons, but today she is the best dog I could ever want. She is so smart and loyal. I love her with all my heart.

Photos of Trixie from the day I adopted her to present. :)

5 months (5/17/07)

8 months

6 months

2 years

4 years

5 years

How to Organize Your Running Gear

Ah, yes, organization... one of the few aspects of life that still makes my heart skip a beat despite all the daily doldrums and temporary crud I'm dealing with.

Back before I lost my job, Wendy at One Tough Mother Runner wrote a post about organizing her running gear. At that point in time, I had "gizmos and gadgets a plenty" and "whozits and whatzits galore." (Wendy loved my Little Mermaid reference, natch.) :)

Since I'm an organizer at heart, I thought I'd share my process here on my blog on the off chance that it might be helpful to one of you!

I used Wendy's post as a starting point with my own gear. Since I had started running, I had a small snack table next to the kitchen door that served as my running things station--it's where I kept my shoes, my inhalers, my earbuds, and my gym bag. But my clothing was stored separately in a single drawer in my dresser. As my collection grew, I had to shift things to other drawers and it became annoying and time consuming to find what I needed. Things needed to change!

Here's what I did.

This makes me happy. Neat & organized!

1. Pick a location. I chose a closet in my spare bedroom as the new location for my running gear. I had been leaning towards making this spare room a "workout room" anyway since I have a 60 lb. punching bag hung in the corner. I decided that I wanted all of my gear, clothing, shoes, and fuel to be kept in the same spot. That way I could grab what I needed (or just get dressed right there in the spare room) and be on my way. I already had things in that closet: rubbermaid containers of seasonal clothing, sporting equipment (bike helmet, gorilla lock, tennis racket, rain boots, softball glove, ski helmet... I have a thing for helmets... I like my brain), and an organizer for my winter items like gloves, scarves, and hats. But these things don't have to relocate just for my running stuff. My running items actually make a welcome addition because it's technically sporting equipment and I have some seasonal items I'll want to swap out at some point.
2. Decide on a structure. My closet doesn't have doors, and I already had one of those long hanging organizers for my gloves, hats, and scarves (it attaches to the pole in the closet with velcro). I liked the way it looked and worked. Because I wanted to be able to *see* all of my things at once--and not have to root through drawers or boxes to find what I want--I found this solution to be best for me. I went to a local discount store (Ollie's, but I'm not sure if that's a national chain or not) and found precisely what I wanted. It was billed as a "sweater" organizer, but this kind had extra mesh pockets on the sides. Perfect! For people who want a more closed, "put away" look, this kind of organizer is not for you. You might like a tower of drawers or one of those cube structures with the little boxes you can use for storage. Then again, if you have closet doors, the sweater organizer might still be an option for you!

   

   Mesh pockets rock.

3. Organize! Put things where they make the most sense. I took a top-down approach. I put my shirts on the top, my shorts and pants in the middle, my socks and shoes on the bottom. The smaller slots near the bottom also fit random items like hats, water bottles, my SPI belt, and shoe pouch. The side pockets are excellent for holding my gloves, hats, facemask, reflectors, Road ID, heartrate monitor, and bag tags. I use the other side for fuel options--chews, gels, Nuun, and Picky Bars. (Note: I keep wellness items like wrap bandages and pain creams in the bathroom cupboard because, for me, that's where they're most likely to be used. I keep my asthma inhalers in my gym bag and in my purse so I always have them with me. Also, I keep my iPod near my computer because that's where I sync it and charge it.)
4. Keep it organized. Organization is a commitment. It means putting things back where they belong every single time. When I do laundry, I fold things so they fit into the organizer I bought. I always return my shoes to their slots and refill my fuel pouches so I can grab and go. If you take a few small steps to restock your gear and keep the area neat, you should feel less anxious and more ready to conquer whatever run you're doing.

   

   Again: je t'aime, mesh pockets.

Pre-run: I grab the clothes I want to wear, my socks and shoes, and any accessories I'll need. If the run is the next morning, I set these things out on my small table so I can dress and be on my way.

Pre-race: The night before, I lay out what I'll wear, what fuel I'll use, and what water bottle I'll take. I put my clothes on the small table and my food and water bottle choices on the kitchen table next to my keys and phone so I have everything I need in the morning. My focus then will be eating breakfast and leaving for a wonderful racing experience!

If you have any questions about organizing your gear, or want any help, let me know! I love to organize and I'm happy to advise if I can. 

I'd also love to hear about your solutions for your gear! Tell me about what you're doing or what you've done to deal with the swell of stuff. :)

Refusing to Stay Blue

I was warned. I prepared. I acknowledged my feelings, and still they persist.

My post-race blues are hitting me a little harder than I anticipated. It's difficult to tell what's post-race related and what's the-rest-of-my-life related though because I'm still not working full-time, I'm still not doing fulfilling work, and I'm still kinda lonely most days of the week. Nevertheless, I'm trying to see these blues for what they are: temporary.

Monday when I was still sore and I felt a little like I had the flu, I rested in a fog and let myself be sad that my big race was over. Tuesday, though, I had to go to my part-time job, so there was no way to abide in relentless sadness throughout the day.

Just what was so sad anyway? I met my goal! I finished a half marathon! I had trained so hard for several months. I had overcome personal and physical hurdles to be there and do well. Yes--yes, I was proud. I was glad I finished, that I ran well, and that I knew I could meet my goal. Nothing was particularly sad about the event. It's the LACK of the goal, created by the goal's completion, that creates an emptiness... and feels sad.

Several sources about post-race blues recommend a psychological reset button of sorts--getting back in touch with friends, allowing yourself a few indulgences, and setting a new goal. I'm beginning to do just that.

• I've been stretching all week to soothe my soreness. I'll go running today. I'm doing a 5k on Sunday--our local Race for the Cure, which is sure to be a positive event. 
• I got to catch up with a good friend (a non-runner) yesterday and that was delightful.
• I drank a Pepsi on Tuesday. (It was mega sweet, but it tasted good.)
• I'm planning to start my Arbonne detox in the next week or two to get my nutrition back on track.
• I repotted several plants on Wednesday and I'm planning to get my garden in the ground next week.
• I'm revamping my training plan for the half marathon I'm running in October (Staten Island). My dearest friend from college is running with me so we're training together but from afar.

Just typing out that list makes me feel a little more hopeful. I think if I can get back to my typical to-do list ways that my day-to-day accomplishments will be more fulfilling.

Anyone else ever deal with post-race blues? How did you deal with them? 

Countdown to My First Half Marathon

T-minus six days till my first half marathon...

• I'm studying the course map, aid stations, and restroom locations. 
• I'm preparing food for the week to ensure I eat right and don't do myself in by not eating well.
• I'm making plans for how to spend the time leading up to and after the marathon. 
• I'm tapering my running routine by running fewer miles and running with a gentler intensity.

• I've made tentative plans to meet up with Cherie from CherieRunsThis.com, who is a Pittsburgh native. (You may have seen her in Fitness Magazine, Women's Running Magazine, or on CNN.)
• I've surpassed my fundraising goal for my charity, Animal Rescue League!
• I've memorized the logistics for my car, my dog, and the morning of the race. 
• I've studied the weather forecast--it should be quite friendly for a wonderful morning run.

• I know where and when to get my packet.
• I know exactly what I'm wearing, even if the weather varies a little.

I am SO excited!

Where I've been, what I'm doing

Oh my goodness, dear readers, I have not forsaken thee. I apologize, blog, that you have gone a full week without an update. For shame!

Working several part-time and freelance gigs is exhausting. Ensuring I have some income, the bills are paid, the dog is cared for, and all the other nuances of life seem more complicated when I'm not going to ONE workplace for a set period of time... and getting a paycheck directly deposited into my account. Invoicing is another element that freelancers don't get paid for that, alas, must be done!

What has happened in the meantime?

I'm excited about the possibilities in store, even if none of them include a full-time job... yet. I'm working hard at accepting what I have, enjoying each day, figuring out what I really want, and pursuing only what I truly desire. That in itself takes more energy than I have on most days, but the allocation of my talent is my own responsibility and if I waste my time and energy doing things I don't like or wishing for things I don't work for, then I deserve what I get. I want to deserve what I get and earn it in the sense that I brush hands with others trying to earn it.

So here's the past week...

I've started kicking my own butt to get to my running group. Tuesday evenings at the track or designated hill (for the beloved hill repeats) are now a must. I have directed my boyfriend to demand that I go when I waver (because goodness knows that I always feel better after I go).

My eyes are closed, but I think I look pretty darn good for
having run seven miles then climbed 45 floors!

Last Saturday I also made it to the group run downtown. It's kind of an expensive long run for me if I don't have other plans in the city before/after it (it's 20 miles there, 20 back), but I went. I ran about seven miles.

After the run, I did the Fight for Air stair climb downtown. Holy moly, stair climbing is a horse of a different color when it comes to exercise... I definitely don't consider myself a stair athlete!

Last week I completed my first set of fifteen freelance articles for a new client. It was a little tough to complete them so quickly without being repetitive, but I did my very best and they were pleased. :)

In the past few days, I've made a few strategic purchases, both of which I will be reviewing in the next few months. Because I have been tutoring a Korean woman for almost a year now and she recently asked me to begin working with her very young daughter, I decided to get Rosetta Stone in Korean. I have some reservations about the program, considering that my background is in language teaching and I have some strong opinions on how people learn language (otherwise how could I teach?!); however, I decided that with the program's guarantee and my current available time that I had nothing to lose.

I also purchased a full month of the Arbonne Fit Kit detox from Becki at Fighting for Wellness. The kit includes protein shake mixes, chews, drink mixes, and a few other items, which accompany an altered diet in order to help the user determine what foods or food entities might be causing distress. I've had issues with food for quite a while now and I'm at a loss for what else to try. I feel uncomfortable no matter what I eat and I don't seem to have enough energy. I decided that I would try the Arbonne detox to try to narrow down some of my issues. Nonetheless, since my half marathon is coming up in just five weeks, I will wait until after the race to begin the detox. I don't want to change anything right now; it's too close to the race. Even if it's for the better, it could affect my running and I might not recuperate properly.

Finally, I started some seeds for my garden! I don't have all the seeds I want yet, so I don't have a full set. I do, however, have lettuce, lavender, lemon balm, shasta daisies, and broccoli planted in my spare room under a grow lamp. Hooray!